last night, I gave in... maybe watching an emotional movie before going to bed is not an appropriate choice of activity for me right now...
yes, it's silly and childish... but I can't lose. I guess so far, I have been losing.
waking up and falling asleep are the hardest times of the day for me.
waking up from a series of dreams with Chris in them... I often have to double check to make sure that it wasn't real. because oh how I would love for that to be real.
falling asleep is almost like making a conscious decision to enter my dreams.
They're always lovely and full of surprises... the things that our brains can do...
still praying...
When you're dreaming with a broken heart
The waking up is the hardest part
You roll outta bed and down on your knees
And for the moment you can hardly breathe
Wondering was she really here?
Is she standing in my room?
No she's not, 'cause she's gone, gone, gone, gone, gone....
there's a little voice that talks over my dreams everyday. I'm heart broken.
maybe, i'm pretending to be strong...
"you think if he actually loves you as much as he said, he'd be doing this right now? something completely selfish and only putting himself in the equation? all he cares about is being successful, but without you in it. wake up"
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